Bracing For Bad News
by Phoebsfan
Summary: A collection of drabbles based on Knockout
1. Foreboding

Bracing for Bad News

Phoebsfan

A collection of drabbles based on "Knockout"

_Cause there's no comfort in the waiting room. Just nervous pacers bracing for bad news. _

_What Sarah Said -Death Cab For Cutie_

Rating: T

AN: Each drabble is 100 words long not counting the lyrics and quote. Each drabble picks up immediately following or during the quote from the episode.

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><p><strong>Drabble One:<strong>

**Foreboding**

_And in your heart,_  
><em>You know it to be true,<em>  
><em>You know what you gotta do.<em>  
><em>They all depend on you.<em>  
><em>And you already know.<em>  
><em>Yeah, you already know how this will end.<em>

_How it Ends_

_-DeVotchKa_

* * *

><p><strong>"I cannot make Beckett stand down, Castle. I never could. And the way I figure, the only one who can is you."<strong>

* * *

><p>Montgomery's words sink like lead in my stomach, cold and hard. What if I can't? I know what I'm asking her to do.<p>

I _know_ her.

I know the way she'll fight it. Run into danger head on and forget about everyone who wants her to continue breathing.

I don't expect her to listen. But I need her to.

She asks what we are.

I don't know.

But she's wrong if she thinks we're over. It's impossible.

She's become part of me. The blood in my veins. The air in my lungs.

I can't lose her. Not now. Not ever.


	2. Suicide

**Drabble Two:**

**Suicide**

_And it's hard watching_  
><em>'cause I'm part of you<em>  
><em>And it's hard not to<em>  
><em>Not to know what I can do<em>

_Heart and Shoulder_

_-Heather Nova_

* * *

><p><strong>"...for a man who makes a living with words, you sure have a hell of a time finding them when it counts."<strong>

* * *

><p>I knew it. I knew she couldn't listen. Stupid, stubborn woman is going to get herself killed, and I can't do anything about it. I've never felt so angry and helpless.<p>

I want to grab her, shake her and tell her not to fight me. I settle for chucking my glass at her fictional image.

I want to tell her...

I need to tell her... just... I...

Fucking waste.

I need her to understand. If I could, I'd tear the life out of them with my own hands.

But I can't. We can't.

I just need her to be okay.


	3. Denial

**Drabble Three:**

**Denial**

_Well, I've been afraid of changing..._

_Landslide_

_-Fleetwood Mac_

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><p><strong>"I coulda kicked Castle to the curb years ago, anytime I wanted to. The only reason I kept him around was 'cause I saw how good he was for you. Kate, you're the best that I've ever trained. Maybe the best I've ever seen. But you weren't having any fun before he came along."<strong>

* * *

><p>I hate him, how he can take everything and just... just.<p>

And like that he's gone? How can it be that easy? A few words and I'm back on my own?

Fear grips my heart, choking it.

I stammer. Make excuses. I don't want...

I don't know what I want, but Castle is not good for me. He ties me up. Makes life harder.

And fun.

Even when I hate him, I can't stomach the idea of losing him.

Even when I know he's right.

But God, why does he have to be right about this?

Anything but this.


	4. Fear

**Drabble Four:**

**Fear**

_A storm at sea_  
><em>The bow cracked<em>  
><em>And I was capsizing<em>  
><em>And I sunk below<em>  
><em>Where I swore I would never go<em>  
><em>If you can't stand in place<em>  
><em>You can't tell who is walking away<em>  
><em>From who remains<em>  
><em>Who stays, who stays, who stays<em>

_Pity and Fear_

_-Death Cab For Cutie_

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><p><strong>"He said we can't win this"<strong>

* * *

><p>The thought sends my stomach to my throat. I can't accept that. I can't just give up. Not after everything.<p>

There has to be another way.

Maybe Castle is right. Maybe I don't know who I am without my mother's case. But it's not just my mother who deserves justice.

Why can't they see?

This is where I have to stand.

Right here.

I can't just let it go.

I wouldn't be who I am. With or without my mother's case. I don't give up.

I'm scared it won't be enough. That in the end none of this will matter.


	5. Goodbye

**Drabble Five:**

**Goodbye**

_We say goodbye but never let go_  
><em>We live, we die 'cause you can't save every soul<em>  
><em>Gotta take every chance to show that you're the kinda man<em>  
><em>Who will never look back, never look down, and never let go<em>

_Never Let Go_

_-Bryan Adams_

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><p><strong>"This is my spot, Kate. This is where I stand."<strong>

* * *

><p>Somehow I knew. From the moment I walked into that dark hanger, I knew that this was it. Even if I can't believe this is where it ends<p>

I should hate him, but I can't stop thinking about how he found me alone that night, searching for truth in a pile of paper. How he took me in and made me who I am. Forgiveness comes easily.

It feels like I'm losing my mother all over again as Rick drags me away. I fight and scream, kick and struggle.

But I _know_.

All I want is to stand with him.


	6. Mercy

**Drabble Six:**

**Mercy**

_I must confess you're my safety pin_

_Hold me together_

_Hide me well_

_So he cannot tell the state that I am in_

_Bicycle Tricycle_

_-Rosie Thomas_

* * *

><p><strong>"Please! No!"<strong>

* * *

><p><em>"Rick. Please."<em>

Her words rip my heart from my chest.

I set her down. I don't want to hold her back. Don't want to be the villain.

But I have to protect her.

I pin her against the car. Cover her mouth, clumsy and oafish. She tries to be that brave girl her father told me about.

No nightlights.

_I'm sorry. So sorry._

Her hand on my cheek.

_I'm here. Please don't cry. _

I can't make this right, so I hold her as close as she'll let me and wait for the end.

God, I want to be her nightlight.


	7. Falling

**Drabble Seven:**

**Falling**

_Through the water_

_Through the rain_

_To the soul of everything_

_Throw my heart out on the stones_

_And I'm almost gone..._

_As I'm Leaving_

_-David Gray_

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><p><strong>"Roy Montgomery taught me what it meant to be a cop. He taught me that we are bound by our choices, but we are more than our mistakes. Captain Montgomery once said to me that for us there is no victory, there are only battles. And in the end the best you can hope for is to find a place to make your stand. And if you're very lucky you find someone willing to stand with you. Our captain would want us to carry on the fight. And even if there is-"<strong>

* * *

><p>The world disappears around me. Scarlet life leaks past my fingertips.<p>

He's here.

Always.

Want to scream till my throat is raw. My pounding heart chokes me... the damage... too much. Drowning, gagging on words unsaid that spill from my eyes.

_Please. Stay._

I beg with him. Not ready. Not yet. Is anyone listening?

Colors fade to nothing. Sounds mix. Blur in a spinning kaleidoscope of chaos.

Doesn't hurt, not like the hole his eyes tear in my soul as it tries to rip free of the broken body it's tied to. His eyes anchor me.

_Don't let go, please. _


	8. Love

**Drabble Eight:**

**Love**

_Stay with me_

_You're all I see_

_Did I say that I need you?_  
><em>Did I say that I want you?<em>  
><em>Oh, if I didn't I'm a fool, you see...<em>  
><em>No one knows this more than me,<em>  
><em>As I come clean.<em>

_Just Breathe_

_-Pearl Jam_

* * *

><p><strong>"Shh. Kate, please. Stay with me. Kate. Don't leave me. Please. Stay with me, okay? Kate. I love you. I love you, Kate."<strong>

* * *

><p>It feels like a movie, everything moves in slow motion. The only thing that's real is her soul slipping through my fingers as I kneel, helpless. Her eyes glazing over as my world crashes down around us.<p>

_God, I need her. Please._

The paramedics push me aside. I sit, numb as their cold hands poke and prod her. Pound on her chest.

Willing life back into her pierced body.

They pick her up. Take her away.

I can't move. Can't breathe.

I'm ready to wake up now.

I know if her heart stops its weak flutter...

_Please. Let her stay._

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><p>AN: For those of you wondering if Sucker Punch will ever be updated, it will. I've had a pretty busy month and a half but things are slowly settling and I'm finding more time to write. I just needed to get this out first.<em> Thoughts are always welcome.<br>_


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